Thursday, February 16, 2012

Top five things to stop doing to babies at the supermarket

I already hate grocery shopping with three children under two enough. Let alone the glares when my sister and I are wearing Ergos. But some people take it to a whole new level of testing my kindness and understanding. There needs to be some etiquette in place to make these awkward grocery store meetings more bearable. Yes the one year old will wave,smile and tell you how sweet he is, so maybe you should do the same.

Stop touching my kids!

I know, the month old sweetie cuddled on mamas chest makes you reminisce of when your babies were babies, but your wrinkly little finger coming towards her makes me think of you wiping your ass this morning and if you have got a Tb test recently. I mean especially when you don't ask permission and dive in. I usually freeze up in shock and my sister pushes unknown hands away. My nephews still goes through this but its horrible because he hates strangers especially ones who take prescription medication,no joke. This applies to pregnant belly touching too,even though i didn't get much of that since most people thought i was teen mom or something and didn't mess with it. Its not that you can't enjoy the baby, but when the baby could catch a cold or disease, its best for everyone to keep their distance

Stop telling me my children are too big or small!
 1 in 3 kids is overweight or obese just in case anyone forgot. Besides that, all babies grow differently and according to what is healthy for them. Trying to make moms worried that their baby isn't growing right isn't your duty. If i was worried then we would go to a doctor or nutritionist or someone with credentials. This also applies to pregnant women, stop telling moms they are too big or small its just so rude and totally not your business. As a vegan/vegetarian both of these have been issues and it really made my pregnancy hard to deal with in public because of everyone's your too small bullcrap.

Quit telling me my children are too cold!
Dear citizens of California, 55 degrees hasn't ever killed anyone. Neither has a grocery store cooler. We like to refer to this as "California cold" California cold is a condition that happens when you haven't left California in too long. But i assure you the little girl soundly sleeping in a sling on my chest isn't cold. By not mentioning the temperature of my children you can avoid me yelling "HIS NOSE IS ALWAYS THAT COLOR!!"

Don't  ask me if the father is around!
Would you like me to tell you about our romantic night in a Arabic hotel in Nebraska or maybe about perennial massage? What if he died or is married with another family, what if i was raped, how about artificial insemination or the baby was adopted. Or maybe he's in prison or they don't know who it is.Do any of these answers make a comfortable conversation with a stranger in the produce isle? And I'm sure the kids without dads love having to hear mommy tell a billion strangers how dad left or any of these scenarios. I'm sure that's great for their psychological development. Anyways it's rude no matter what the answer your going to get is.

Stop telling me, "Your just a baby yourself!"
Not my family.
I'm married with two children and am not teen mom. It's like going up to an older mom and asking aren't you a little beyond your child rearing years? And lets stop sexualizing lite girls then act all surprised when they turn 15 and get pregnant. Duh, you taught them to booty dance in moms high heels to "single ladies" where do you think this was going. Either way don't mention to moms that are teens how they are young, they get it already and its hard enough as it is.  


  1. Yeah! and stop asking moms whose kids don't live with them how their kid is doing and WHEN the last time you saw him/her was! Like it's painful enough living with it everyday and now I have to relive it in front of you?

    1. Oh and I know what they're all wondering. "Maybe her kids got taken away from her" "Maybe she was a drug addict/prostitute/floozy/drunk/violent/negligent"
      But people never think of what's obvious. I was poor. I'm still poor. I can't afford a lawyer. Technically, I have all custody of my child. We were unmarried.He did not file for paternity. (idiot)He drew up an illegal notarized document regarding custody. (dummy) My ex kidnapped my son from the state of Arizona and moved to Texas without my consent.(ignoramus)
      All things will be brought to justice in due time. Wait and see.

  2. The "don't you have your hands full" makes me cringe.
    If you are just making a snide observation, it is not necessary. If you are actually concerned about my being overwhelmed, how about you offer to help instead?

    1. Yup, I hate this one too, I can't believe I even get this one with only 2 kids!!!! Though we plan on having 5 all together we are taking our time and spacing them well.
      I don't mind honest inquiries, but stupid stating the obvious is annoying.
      I also carry all belly while pregnant, at 6 1/2 months I was by far much larger than the women around me who were also pregnant but between 8 months and 1 week past due, so I start getting the 'you are about to pop' and 'you must have a hidden twin in there' comments at about 7m. It is funny at first seeing the shock on their face when I tell them how far along I am and how easy my pregnancies are in spite of the size of my uterus. But it starts getting tiring around 35 weeks. I just reply 'yup I guess I am.'
      Why do people (especially strangers) assume that just because I'm growing a human being all of a sudden every nuance of my life (including my sex life) is up for conversation?

      I think I'm gonna play around a lot with the next pregnancy, I'm working on my replies already even though we are waiting about 6 more months before even TTC.